January 1, 2014

Show Up.

2nd photo of the new year. I took this photo because looking into the camera is very uncomfortable for me. 

I'm trying to just show up.
Just be here.
Not edit my words so much...

That's really hard.

It's amazing what happens when one simply wants to remove the filter.
When one simply wants to just be.

"But will they like it?
But will it be good?
But will anyone care?"

Maybe, maybe not.

Showing up feels scary. It feels shaky. And at the moment I'm working with being in that space.

I read recently about the middle way. The Middle Way isn't so much about not feeling happy or sad, you know, some sort of nothingness - it's really about being with where we are, especially when life becomes uncomfortable. The middle way requires us to live with our discomfort, instead of searching for an instant cure. This path also requires not becoming attached to our pleasure and happiness. The constant seeking and searching for that feel good thing, the never ending search for the salve to sooth our wounds... totally unnecessary.

In pain and pleasure there is wisdom. In both there is love, and kindness.

I'm hesitant to do some sort of 365 thing because I don't want to get caught up in that search for accomplishment, or shame if I forget a day. Honestly I'm more afraid of the shame. Then I must think if it's just the fear holding me back?

That's why it's important to explore our emotions. Even if I am feeling a little afraid, that's OK. And if I'm feeling excited, that's also OK. They are both on the same level. And it's OK if there's not an immediate answer.

Exploration is much more important, and we get so much more out of it. If we just remain curious, the answers will come in their own time.

So just show up. Whatever that may mean. It may mean a photo. It may mean writing. It may mean releasing that fear of setting goals.

I'm just going to leave it open and live through it all.

Tell me. How are you showing up today?


Janet said...

I will try to do 365 of daily photos as well... and commit to daily meditation and yoga, even if it's just 10 minutes a day (I will admit to myself now that the daily yoga may fall on the wayside, but the meditation, I want to really do). I don't want to think about the shame or feeling guilty if I skip a day. I think I just want to make it a prompt to help motivate me to action.

For example, I'm going to Thailand for at least a month on January 16... But I am afraid I won't explore as much as I should and end up being 'boring' and staying in a lot because that's what I normally do. I'm a huge homebody yet I love to travel and explore. I'm not sure how to merge the two. So I'm afraid I won't explore as much. Taking photos daily will force me to explore my surroundings! And this should be a good, fun thing!

Post a Comment